John hooked into a touristy-looking shop with racks of T-shirts and postcards inside, and a large front window. He didn’t care what it was, he saw cover and potential for looking out at the street. He would’ve galloped into a hamburger joint or a lingerie store if it looked like a good place.
The bell above the door went off, he snatched it automatically, and then bowed and apologized to the man behind the counter. He approached a rack of sunglasses and tried on a large pair, and a hat.
It didn’t look like they were following.
He sighed and slumped against the wall. They’d collected Erik and he’d managed to escape with his life. Maybe this wouldn’t be a total…
Something in his inner coat pocket crinkled when he shifted. He pressed his hand to his side and felt the shape of the large manila envelope. All the evidence he’d spent the last three weeks putting together, plus the passports he’d had with him since almost the very beginning, were in there.
“Oh, gods,” he said aloud. He stifled it, and the tearing gasp that followed, with a hand. “I’m so stupid. I’m so fucking stupid.”
Why didn’t he give it all to David?
…Because he’s a pathological liar who holds grudges and destroys things, he answered himself.
He shook his head, wide-eyed, and saw a conspicuous tourist in neon yellow sunglasses and a fedora doing the same in the display mirror.
What else were you going to do with it? he demanded of himself. Drop it on the ground? Hand it to them and wait for them to blow your head off with magic like a firing squad?
It was lucky he’d thrown everything up less than five minutes ago, because if he had anything left he would’ve done it again.
Erik’s family had collected him, but they had no idea what was wrong with him or how to care for him. They didn’t have his papers. They might not even know this country was trying to kill people like him.
Oh, gods. What do I do now?
◆◇◆
“You missed me?” David said with a smile. It melted into an expression of numb horror, “Oh, gods, I must be dying.”
Hyacinth sighed. “No, we’ve done that…”
“This isn’t,” David said. “No-no-no, wait, you can’t be…” He tried to squirm free from the laundry bag, fell sideways, and rolled off the bed with a thump.
Both Maggie and Hyacinth dove after him.
“Goddammit, is this about my band organ? Who the hell are you? Some kind of performance artist…? You’re that woman who bathes naked in canned spaghetti, aren’t you?” He blinked and smiled. “Is this a sex thing?”
“I think he may be a little mixed up,” Ann hazarded, with one hand pressed to her mouth. “Em…?”
Their resistant god expert had backed up to the wall and pulled the desk chair in front of him, presumably in terror. “I have never seen anything like this, your guess is as good as mine.”
“Aha,” said the General. “Given the situation, I think I will be of the most use as emergency backup.” She was replacing her earplugs as she spoke. “Please signal me if you should require me, Hyacinth, or give me an all-clear when the threat has departed.” She picked up a headset. “Perhaps you would like to join me, Mr. Eidel?” she offered, with a condescending smile.
He shooed her away. “I’m useless in an emergency and I want to listen.”
“Very well.” She put on the headset and tuned the mini recorder to a distant station that was mostly static.
Maggie and Hyacinth put Erik back on the bed, mostly free of the bag. He could have kicked it away easily, but he seemed a bit stunned. He was still talking, “Alice, if this is a sex thing I’m sure I’ve only hit my head a little and I’ll be fine in… No-no-no, what’s wrong with my eye? This isn’t what’s wrong with my eye!” He had a hand on it, feeling the edges of the metal socket with two fingers. “Is this a prank?”
“If it’s a prank, you’re the one playing it,” Hyacinth said. “That isn’t your eye, that’s Erik’s eye. Please don’t screw with me, I’ve had a long day. Do you honestly…”
“Who the hell is Erik? Is he the help?”
She took him by the shoulders and shook him. “David, please get your nose out of your past and come back to the present. You have been dead for thirty-five…”
“Thirty-seven,” Ann and Maggie said, on top of each other.
“Thirty-seven-years,” said Hyacinth, “and this is not you!”
“Alice, if you are trying to get me committed out of spite, it is not going to work,” he said. “I have far too much money and this cell will not hold me.”
“You have no money,” said Hyacinth, “and your ‘cell’ is another man’s body in a shitty Prokovian hotel! Barnaby and I fed you a bowl of painkillers in applesauce and you are dead! Do you remember that? Look for it!”
“I…” He wobbled and clutched a hand to Erik’s chest. “Um. Yes. Rather. Thank you,” he sketched a little bow, “um, for the assist, ah…” He glanced around. “Are we bringing people back to life now?”
“No, just you,” Hyacinth said sourly.
He beamed. “I deserve it!”
“I don’t think humanity does, but nobody bothered to ask me,” Hyacinth muttered.
He stood. “Are the press here?”
Maggie snatched him and spun him around, “Get out of my boyfriend, you twit!”
“Don’t kill me! I didn’t hurt him! It wasn’t my idea!”
“What?” she said.
“What?” he said. Trembling, he pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and dabbed his brow. “I don’t like this, oh gods, I don’t like this…” He startled at the sight of just how much makeup had come off on the white cloth, folded it and tucked it away, self-consciously. “Hyacinth, if I took some goddamn designer drug or something you would tell me, wouldn’t you?” He peered at her. “Is that you? You seem…”
“Old?” she said.
“Honestly, I’ve always pictured you about this age, but aren’t you shorter?”
“No, you’re taller.”
“What?”
“He is fucking with us!” Maggie snarled. She swiped at him, and he staggered and fell back on the bed. “You told us! He does this sort of thing! He’s…”
“He does,” Hyacinth said, “and he would, but I don’t think he is.”
He’d kicked off both shoes and was standing again, measuring Hyacinth with a hand against his chest. “You weren’t even this size when I found you. Stop slouching, dear child, or I shall put you in a corset.”
“I am not slouching,” she snapped. “Look up what happened five minutes ago and reorient yourself with reality, please.”
“You hauled me up four storeys in a laundry bag,” he replied. He shook Erik’s head again. “All right, where is Gray hiding? I don’t know what you’re trying to pull, but I’ve had just about enough of it.”
“He is dead,” Hyacinth said.
“Don’t be stupid.” The god brushed her away and peeked under the bed, then strode to the closet.
Mordecai put out a hand to stop him, but he was too uncertain to manage anything save a single, quiet, “Wait…”
There was a full-length mirror inside of the closet door. David regarded Erik’s reflection, frowning, and wiped off a bit more of the makeup with the handkerchief. He leaned on the door frame and smiled, touching a finger to the glass. “Well, hello, handsome.”
“I’m going to kill him,” Maggie said.
“No you’re not,” said Hyacinth. “The motherfucker’s immortal.”
“At least let me threaten him! He responds to death threats. I’ve…”
Mordecai’s hesitant hand came up again and tugged her back. “Please let Hyacinth deal with it. He still might hurt someone and I don’t know what else to do…”
“Ugh, this hair is a disaster,” David said. He combed back Erik’s hair with both hands. The ragged bangs fell stubbornly forward, in much the same way, as soon as he let go. “Someone needs to introduce this boy to a blow-dryer yesterday. This is an emergency.”
“You are the emergency,” Hyacinth said. She turned him back towards the mirror and stood beside him. “Look at yourself. Look at me. Do you understand what is happening here? I do not have the capacity to play a prank this elaborate. If you’ve been a god the whole time, you sure as hell fooled us, so straighten yourself out and take a bow. We thought you were dead.” She frowned. “Barnaby always said you’d be back, but I thought he meant Davy.”
“Davy!” David said. He paused, only for a moment, and applauded softly. “Oh, he’s cute!”
Ann stepped forward and said, “He’s very fond of Erik, David. He would not like you to hurt him, or any of us.”
“Hurt you?” He turned towards her, smiling. “I would never…” He looked her up and down, puzzled. “That hemline… Are you a dancer?”
“Not really,” she said. She spread her arms and took a step back, examining it herself. “They’ve all gotten shorter, and the waistlines are lower.”
“Oh, no,” David said. He looked down at his own clothes and turned back to the mirror. “Oh, no, I’ve gone out of style, oh… Oh, no…” Slowly, he said down on the floor, and he put Erik’s head in his hands. “Oh, gods, what am I doing? We don’t dress like this now! Have I been away…?” He plucked at the button-down front of the silk shirt. “I’d never wear a T-shirt in public, what’s going on?”
Hyacinth deferred to Mordecai, for the space of a glance. He was still trying to hide behind the desk chair and he shook his head at her.
She blew out a breath. “My best guess, which is apparently what we’re doing here, is that you’re paging through Erik’s memory right now, because you’re living rent-free in his head. He wears T-shirts in public all the time.”
“They make them in colours,” Ann offered. “With designs and things. Some of them are quite stylish, but Erik doesn’t mind about that. If it’s any consolation, some of the kids do fix up vintage clothing like that, and some of them wear it distressed. Erik’s just skewing a bit more grunge, that’s simpler.”
“That makes no sense!” David cried. He paused and addressed Ann with a smile, “The part about T-shirts and vintage style does, dear — children and fashion designers are very clever — I don’t mean that.” He snapped right back into anguished offence to address Hyacinth, “Alice, if this isn’t my head, what the hell are my memories doing in it?”
She flung a gesture at him. “Congratulations, you picked the weirdest possible human being to hijack. Broad strokes, the boy is psychic, but it’s way more complicated than that.”
“Like Gray?”
“No, but I guess the result is similar.”
He turned back and peeked into the closet. “Is he really… really not-here? Gray, I mean. He knew I was coming back and he left anyway?”
“Pretty sure he left because he knew you were coming back.” She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I’m still pissed about it, too, but what are you gonna do?”
He glared at her. “Obviously, I’m going to find him, drag him back here, and make him explain himself!”
“Can you do that?” she said, staring.
He threw both hands in her direction and turned away. “I don’t know! But I had no idea I could do this!” He gestured to all of Erik. “So I might as well try!”
“David, what are you?” Hyacinth said. “Do you know? Is this an act? Did you change? Or did you get sick of pretending to be a person, give yourself cancer and go back to…” She gestured to all of Erik. “Whatever the hell that is?”
“I don’t know!” He stood and began to pace. “I… I’m… This isn’t me, I can’t… It is, but…” He paused, looked up, and cut a hand over Erik’s head, as if searching for invisible strings. He looked down and lifted both feet, first examining the floor, and then the bottom of each sock, but there was nothing to see there either. “No, this is me, I’m here, I feel everything about this, this is me, but…” He was beginning to glow again.
“Hyacinth,” Mordecai said cautiously.
“He won’t get me,” she replied.
“That’s not what I mean…”
“It’s like this is a T-shirt I’m wearing,” David cried, flaring brighter and brighter. “I feel it because I’m IN it, and it’s the only thing you can see, but this isn’t ALL of me…” Now the green light was flickering in tongues and leaping from Erik’s head and shoulders. “I can’t stretch it so I fit, it’s not even MADE for that. I could have a hundred T-shirts at once, I could have a thousand, and they STILL wouldn’t…”
“Mr. Valentine, please!” said Mordecai. “You’re going to hurt him!”
“Oh.” The light went out. David fussily adjusted his cuffs and collar with Erik’s hands. “I know. I don’t know how I know, but… It’s… It’s evident. It’s just the shape of the thing.” He turned back towards the full-length mirror. “It’s very comfortable.” He laughed a little. “You have no idea. I think this one’s my favourite.”
“Then stop fucking with it and take it off!” Maggie snapped. “Go wear someone else for a while!”
“Ah.” He staggered back from her. “Ah, yes. I would, um, ordinarily, but… You may not want me to… I mean…” He looked in the mirror again and began rubbing the edge of the metal patch, as Erik often did when he was nervous and distracted. “Oh, no. I… Why did I… Oh, gods, I’ve been away.” He shook his head at Erik’s reflection. “I’ve been away, I’ve been away, I didn’t mean it… I wouldn’t have…” He moved the closet door and addressed Hyacinth’s reflection, off to one side. “I mean, I might have — he was very annoying, and I am not a nice person, Alice — but I swear by all that is holy, I did not know he belonged to you!”
“What did you do to him?” Hyacinth said tightly.
“It doesn’t even matter,” he said. “I didn’t start it! Johnny would ha…” He gasped and clapped both hands over Erik’s mouth. “No. Nothing.”
“‘Johnny’ would have what?” Maggie said. “What did John do to him?”
“Aha.” David laughed airily and clasped Erik’s hands. “So sorry. No, I don’t mean to worry you, my dear. I’m a little mixed up, that’s all. What year is it? 1388? Oh, that happened ages ago.” He knocked a hand on the metal patch. “No, I’m certain that was all Cousin Violet’s doing, I just feel guilty about it. Well, Erik does. You all do.” He smiled at them. “These psychic powers certainly are disorienting, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. You know, it’s almost as if I remember Gray dying? He shouted at me! Scared the hell out of me, but of course that’s not me. I wasn’t even there when he vanished into light like an utter cliché, but I remember that too! I’m all right, I’m getting the hang of it…”
Hyacinth snatched Erik’s shoulder and turned him to face her. “You don’t need to get the hang of lying and acting like a fool. If you’ve hurt him, you’d better own up and help me fix what you’ve done, or I’m going to be even more pissed off at you.”
“Alice, my love, indignation looks terrible on you. Your face is all squinched up like a rag.” He squinched up Erik’s face in imitation. “For heaven’s sake, don’t go looking for excuses to make it worse. This is all a bit overwhelming for me, and I have access to every mind in the building, please do not expect me to make sense right now.”
“You are making exactly as much sense as you want to make,” she replied. “I could tell the difference when you were fucked up on painkillers and half dead, this is nothing.”
He blinked at her, frowned, and shooed a hand. “All right, all right, you force me to tell you.”
He sat on the bed and crossed Erik’s legs demurely at the ankles.
“We were ice fishing, that’s a thing around here, and having a lovely time, but Erik fell in. Nobody’s fault, that’s just how it is. Johnny dived in and saved him, of course, but a person’s not going to come back from something like that unscathed. I don’t know whether it’s brain damage or post-traumatic stress, but we’ve been minding him ever since and he’s been quite a handful. I wouldn’t believe a word the boy says, he is quite insane.”
“Super,” Maggie said. “Get lost and let him tell us himself. I speak Crazy. We’re all fucking nuts here.” She leaned over the bed with her face inches from his, “And extremely fucking impatient!”
David scooted away until he bumped into the night table. “Well, my dear, I think if you want to get him home in one piece, you had best let me drive him there.” He smiled at her. “I make a lovely travelling companion. Do you like free drinks? Or card games? What about Queen songs?”
“Uncle Mordecai,” Maggie said, though she did not turn from David to address him, “will you please tell this thing how gods work so it doesn’t kill Erik?”
“Maggie, I think you’re vastly overestimating my intelligence,” he said, from the maximum possible distance. Almost instinctively, he glanced towards the General, but she hadn’t heard. “…And, um, I think you should be a little more careful, but, ah, Mr. Valentine, if you stay long enough to get back to San Rosille, Erik may die.”
“Oh.” David snorted and tossed Erik’s head. “Just knock him out or something, then. Use magic. You seem magical. If you can’t do it with magic, they do make a large assortment of tranquilizers in this country. They’re not hard to get.”
Hyacinth stamped over and snatched him by the shirt collar. “I am not going to knock Erik out with drugs or magic when I have no idea what’s wrong with him, David! Tell me what you did!”
“Nothing,” David said. “We’ve done nothing, I told you. I just got a little mixed up. I swear to you, we have been rescuing kittens from burning buildings and helping cute little orphans down from very tall trees the whole time. He was like this when I got here.” He frowned at her. “Honestly, it’s probably something you did to him, it just wore out or broke. Get him out of here and away from all this and you can fiddle with his loose screws all you like, but until then — I’m warning you — you’ll have to have him on a leash.”
Hyacinth shook him. “Tell me what you did, you piece of…”
“Ah!” He twisted away from her and fell back on the bed. “Don’t you traumatize me! Haven’t I suffered enough? This is not how you get information out of people! My dear girl, you have read too many novels!”
“You’re not traumatized,” Hyacinth snarled. “You’re a fucking carrier, you’re immune.”
“Of course I’m traumatized! What’s the point of being a god if I can’t be whatever I want? Oh! Ah!” He touched the back of Erik’s hand to his brow. “It’s all too much! I don’t know what’s happening to me. Who are you people? Where am I? The last thing I remember, my best friends were force-feeding me a bowl of painkillers in applesauce… I think they killed me!”
“David, for fuck’s sake stop playing…”
“I’m certain they did!” He sat up and looked around. “Is this the afterlife? It seems very dull. Oh!” He fell back again. “My best friends killed me, they must hate me! Oh, no, now I have trust issues and attachment disorders! My poor broken mind is reeling!”
Hyacinth was still gripping a piece of his shirt collar, not trying to shake him, not even with her mouth open. She looked utterly, helplessly bored with the young man swooning against her.
“No!” he cried, with sudden resolve. “I reject your shitty reality. I demand my beautiful illusions! I have always depended on my talent for invention. I shall never recall my past or my recent circumstances ever again! Hello!” He smiled at them. “You seem nice. What’s going on?”
“You know, people can kill gods if they really want to,” Maggie said, very near. “I read it in a book of mythology. I’m sure I can work it out.”
“Ah…” He looked her up and down, tried smiling at her, and when that failed to make any dent, he gave a nervous little laugh. “I see improv isn’t your thing. I don’t blame you…”
“If you don’t tell me what you did to Erik,” Maggie said, “I’m going to assume it was the worst thing I can think of — and I will treat you accordingly!”
Mordecai touched her shoulder, and hesitantly pulled her back. “Maggie…”
David sat up again. Erik’s head ticked frantically back and forth, taking in all of them and especially Maggie and Hyacinth. He blazed alight like a bonfire and spoke quickly, “All of you! Tell me whether you have any idea where you might find Mr. John Green-Tara, right now!”
“He’s staying at the Hotel Vesely,” Maggie and Hyacinth said, right on top of each other. Maggie gasped, Hyacinth clapped both hands over her mouth. Maggie said, “You…?” and Hyacinth banged a frustrated hand on the side of her own head, “How in the…?”
“He is staying at the Hotel Vesely!” the General chimed in, loudly. “But it is quite obvious we have been tracking him and he must know we know that, so he would only return there now if he were a total idiot! Therefore, I have no doubt that is where we would find him!” She removed the headphones, frowned at them, “Well, these are useless,” and discarded them on the desk.
“I can’t give you directions or anything, but it’s probably in the phone book,” Mordecai added. He winced as if stung.
“…As are you,” said the General, appraisingly.
Ann remained silent, frowning.
Erik’s body was still burning like a lit match.
“Er,” David said. “Did you… not hear me? If you don’t have anything to add, I don’t mind if you repeat…”
“I am not going to let you hurt Milo again no matter how hard you try,” Ann said coldly.
“I’m not going to hurt him, you silly girl. I’m simply asking for some information — very politely — while glowing.” He sniffed. “It happens when I’m upset. I have no control over it.”
“Oh, that is horseshit!” Maggie cried.
“You are testing whether you can mind-control everyone in the room,” Ann said. “And it turns out you can’t. So whatever lie you wanted to feed us or command you wanted to give, there is going to be at least one person who doesn’t buy it, and I will hold you, and whoever you are working for, accountable. Unless you want to tell my family to kill me, you had better just stop.”
He blew out like a candle. “It’s not possible,” he said, trembling.
“It is,” Hyacinth said,“ and I’ve done it, and Maggie has too.” She folded her arms across her chest, pouting. “Just not when you’ve got it turned up to eleven like that, you jerk…”
“It is,” Ann said, more clearly. “And if you have Erik’s memories, you know it is.”
David paused for only a moment. “Auntie Enora’s medicine didn’t work on you?” he cried.
“No,” Ann replied. “She had one chance not to hurt Milo, and she blew it. Just like you.” She indicated the scratches across her face. “And I have never let her hurt him again.” She smiled. “I don’t think you’re stronger than she is. Do you think you’re stronger than the healer who makes perfect medicine, David? What is it you do, again? Throw parties, tell lies and work metal about as well as Cin?”
“You people are eldritch,” David said. He turned to Hyacinth and implored her with clasped hands, “I taught you to surround yourself with artists and devotees, where in the hell did you pick up an army? What have you been doing?”
“Mostly pretending to be a doctor, but shit happens,” she replied.
“We have artists too,” Ann said firmly.
“If you’re referring to that clown-dyed lawyer-beast you’re in a relationship with, I’m willing to grant you the artist part,” David said, “provided she’s not here and I don’t have to deal with whatever insane abilities she might cough up.”
Ann opened her mouth, and so did Hyacinth, and Maggie wound up a fist. Mordecai stepped forward with both hands up, pausing all three of them — if only momentarily.
“Please,” he said softly. “This isn’t how you get information out of people. He wasn’t wrong about that. Let me try.”
“You are not going to break me, you irritating little man.” David edged back a bit farther on the bed. “Why don’t you get a foundation that matches your skin tone?”
Mordecai offered a faint smile. “Because I don’t want to die, Mr. Valentine.” He gave a polite bow. “I won’t keep you from spending time with Hyacinth if that’s what you really want, but — are you trying to protect someone you care about? Is that all it is? We pushed you too hard and you didn’t know what else to do?”
Hyacinth gaped at him and growled. “This… This creature does not need you to feed him more plausible lies, you weird, stupid man!”
David put Erik’s hand over her mouth and nudged her back, just a little. He looked Mordecai up and down, squaring up the sight of two red hands with the violin on the dresser. The god made Erik nod just once, decisively.
Mordecai blew out a breath and nodded back. “That’s what I want to do too. I’ll take whatever you’re willing to tell me about what happened to Erik and what he needs, and I won’t boss you or threaten your life or pry. Can we just do that?”
Hyacinth threw up her hands. “You have just given a pathological liar carte blanche to tell you whatever he wants. Congratulations! You’re going to get so much information you won’t know what to do with it, and it’s all going to be utterly useless!”
David dragged Erik to his feet, and put a brief hand on her shoulder. “Hyacinth, I miss you, too, but I can’t stay and play. I don’t have time.” He sighed. “I have no time at all, I’m stealing it.” He made Erik smile, a tired smile. “If I ever want to see you again, and I do, I have to be an adult about this. Do you believe I really didn’t remember you, and Gray, and all the important stuff, until you sat me down a few minutes ago and made me?”
She nodded. Nobody else was willing to pass an opinion, but that didn’t seem to matter.
David made Erik nod too. “Okay. Then this is me, and that person who screwed up and caused you even more pain wasn’t, and I need to clean up after him somehow without hurting even more people and making a bigger mess. Will you please let me try without reminding everyone that even at my utmost best, I’m still basically an unredeemable, lying sack of shit?”
“You never stopped trying to be better,” she said.
“Dead things don’t grow,” he said. He spread Erik’s arms, presenting what little she could see of him. “This is as good as I get.” He sighed and strode away towards the window. “First of all, we don’t need this.” He shut the curtain. “We don’t like windows. Whether we’re shut up in our own head or trapped in a hotel room, windows are bad. This boy walked backwards into hell for you, Maggie…”
◆◇◆
The evident tourist strode up to the Cyre train station’s information booth. He was wearing a broad-brimmed felt hat and yellow sunglasses, so the attendant pegged this person as Marselline, even before he opened his mouth and she heard the accent. He looked Priyati, but people from Priyakadesh had better fashion sense.
He wanted to know the cheapest place in the city where he could get a room with a bed.
She sighed and smiled bravely. A lot of them wanted to know that. She would direct the better-dressed ones to the Neuestel, an Alemanian chain with free continental breakfasts and a disc-view radio in every room. But this guy was an evident disaster. He didn’t even have a backpack. “I think they will have room at the Elysium Inn,” she replied, in Anglais.
“Is it near Kirov?” he asked.
She gave a little bow, still smiling. “So sorry, there is no Kirov anymore. That area is under construction. I have a newer map.” She unfolded a slick brochure wreathed with ads for local services. The map in the centre had a conspicuous blank space in the northeastern quadrant, near the mountains. She circled the nearby Elysium for him in red ink. “It is here!”
He peered at it and clutched it in both shaking hands, crumpling the paper. “Thank you so incredibly much.”
◆◇◆
They had produced another glowing list in the air, suitable for quick editing and group commentary:
- He doesn’t like windows.
- He gets distracted and forgets things, up to and including his own name (not just aphasia, actually forgetting), where he is, who his friends are, and what he was just doing, but he always remembers again.
- He will not stop trying to remember and figure things out, but he does it more when something weird or interesting happens. (And we don’t necessarily want him to do this until we’re home safe.)
- He remembers in random order and will act logically based on whatever he knows or has figured out, but that changes from moment to moment and he won’t always tell you what he knows.
- Sometimes he loses his words entirely, but that always gets better, too.
- This is fixable.
- He will probably fix it himself if we let him, but it’s not safe to let him do whatever he wants because he’ll do things that will get him, or us, killed.
- He will summon gods with perfect (as far as David knows) accuracy if you hypnotize him first and write who you want on a piece of paper where he can see it.
- John and David knew not to push him too hard and they gave him regular breaks, so he should be in good shape to summon a whole pantheon to help us if we need.
- David will forge us any documents we want, we just need to get him the materials. (He doesn’t know specific ink colours or paper types, but he’ll try to find out after he goes.)
- Any physical damage should only be related to being locked in a hotel room and trying to get out of it, but that may include burns, minor contusions and head injuries.
- He may have had one or two colds or fevers and he’s not current with any traveller’s vaccines.
- He doesn’t mind any of the mental or physical problems because they’ve been telling him he’s just sick and he believes it (most of the time).
- He hasn’t been using his magical or mental abilities because he thinks he’s too sick to do so.
- We don’t want to remind him what he can do until he’s safer or at least more sensible.
- He has no idea what he’s been doing or how long he’s been gone.
- His best guess is always less than a year because he thinks he gets to go home for his birthday.
- He expects John to be there to help him and he may be upset when he learns that’s not an option anymore.
- He needs to hear that this is “no big deal” and “just for right now.”
- Don’t tell him he’s hurt or he’ll think it’s more brain damage and it’s “forever.”
- He will definitely be upset when he sees he’s not in his old hotel room because he will not feel safe.
- He probably won’t scream or make noise, but he does make phone calls and all kinds of other stuff, so we need to be careful.
Maggie was copying it diligently on hotel stationary. She didn’t think Erik would like coming back to find a big, glowing reminder of his mental health issues, penned in part by a god that had surely caused some of them.
“All right,” David said. He bowed to both Ann and the General. “I’m satisfied you will not get in trouble with the hotel or the authorities if he starts screaming or pounding on the walls or anything obvious like that — but it probably won’t be something obvious like that. I know it’s not a nice way to say it, but you really do need to have him on a leash. He doesn’t understand what’s happening, he wants to go home, and somewhere in there,” he touched Erik’s head, “he is convinced that if he gets someone to notice he’s in trouble they will help him instead of kill him.”
David smiled at them each in turn. “I blame each and every one of you for that!”
He made serious again and addressed them with one finger raised, “Bottom line, he knows where he is supposed to be, and he knows where he wants to be, and this little room is neither of those places. I guarantee you, the first thing he will try to do is get out, and his next priority will be getting help — which means making chaos and noise.”
Maggie looked up from the notepad with an irritated frown. “He knows us. We’re help.”
“I do understand, but he may forget who you are or forget you’re here, my dear…”
“Mr. Valentine,” Mordecai said. He’d managed to scrub off most of the makeup, save a few stubborn streaks around the eyes, and somehow he looked even paler. “I know, I know,” he put up a hand, “you won’t tell me who did it or what was done.” He regarded the list in the air and turned back to the god, shaking his head. “Do you understand this looks like someone tried to erase him, only they did it very badly, or… or they were afraid to do it all the way because they might erase what he’s able to do?”
David winced, they all saw it.
“Mr. Valentine… You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? You’ve seen…”
“No, I have not.” He sniffed and knocked back Erik’s head. “I was thinking of something else entirely, and you’re very lucky it didn’t happen and it won’t.” He scowled. “And for gods’ sakes get that makeup off! I don’t think he has any fucking clue — Johnny has literally laid down his life to protect him — but if he does have a clue, you cannot let him see you with that shit on any part of you, understand? Get it off!”
Mordecai nodded, and staggered back to the cotton balls and the waterproof makeup remover.
David began to pace again, muttering, “You pull me in so many different directions at once, I can’t even sort out my own goddamn memories, and I swear, he is running around in there and hiding things from me.” He banged the heel of Erik’s palm against his brow. “I’m out here trying to save his life, but he can’t stand me.”
He looked up at them with a weak smile. “But I don’t think there’s much left. The people who have been holding him will not come after him — Johnny and I will make sure of it, so you need to leave us alone and let us — but there are worse people who want him. If they knew what he does, they would want him more than anything, and they’d use him to kill people — which is not what he was doing,” he added, firmly.
He sighed, shaking Erik’s head. “But if he ever figures out what he was doing… I don’t think he knows, I don’t think he has any idea, but he might figure it out.” He turned and focused on Mordecai. “If he does figure it out, you make him forget it. Do whatever you have to. Hook him up to a goddamn car battery if you must…”
“You know about,” said Hyacinth.
He scoffed and pointed to Erik’s head. “He only knows batteries will ruin his brain because you ruined yours and scared the hell out of me. Of course I know! For gods’ sakes, just let me say it. If he finds out what he was doing, he will not be okay, and he may not allow you to leave with him. You do not want to make an enemy of this boy, he resists brilliantly and he never gives up.”
“What the hell was he doing?” Maggie snapped. “Will you just tell us? That doesn’t make sense! They forced him to do it and he wants to come home, but if he finds out what it was he won’t want to come home anymore? What the fuck?”
Mordecai shook his head at her. “Maggie, please…”
“I can’t tell you because he listens, you little idiot!” David cried. “Use your brain!” He turned away. “I’m sorry. Don’t… Let’s not start sniping at each other again. He will feel too guilty, all right? He will fight you out of fear and guilt — and he will not believe you if you try to tell him it’s not his fault, even though it isn’t. Now, that has to be enough.”
He sat Erik on the bed, and patted the mattress beside him. “Hyacinth, will you give me just a moment more?”
She sighed and plunked down next to the god in Erik’s body. “Well?”
He hugged her. She stiffened and pulled back, then allowed it, wrapping both arms around him. “All right,” she muttered, “I don’t hate you. Yet.”
He drew back with a sad smile. “Please try not to. I am sorry. I’m not lying about that. I would’ve bent over backwards to protect him, too, if I knew I was stealing him from you. It’s just… It wasn’t me. Not quite.” He lifted Erik’s head and glanced over her shoulder, at Mordecai. “I won’t forget this, will I? I won’t… be that way again?”
“No,” the man replied. “Invisibles have excellent memories, Mr. Valentine. Better than people.”
David clasped Erik’s hands. “Well, that is nice. I’ll see you again. I’ll sort out the papers for you when you have time, dear. And maybe, if you have a party later, I can come too?” He smiled at her. “And meet Davy, and have a little cake? Erik can have cake, too, I just want a little. Is that okay?”
“I make you no promises,” Hyacinth said.
“That’s a good girl, Alice.” He drew her nearer and kissed her on top of the head. “TTFN. We’ll go shopping for our forgery things, and I’ll pick up a bottle of hot oil and fix your hair!”
“Oh, go fu…” She closed her mouth on the word. His hands had tightened on her shoulders, quite suddenly. His left eye, the grey one, widened for an instant and then winced narrow, as if in pain. The metal one on the right whirred, ticked off-centre, and refocused, adjusting its lens. “Oh, hell. Erik, is that you?”
“Um?” he said, blinking. He pulled at the front of his shirt and examined it, noting the buttons and tugging on each lace cuff. “No, uh-uh, sorry.” He swung his head from side to side, looking right past the variously hopeful and apprehensive faces of his family. He wanted something else, but he didn’t seem to be finding it.
He rolled back to his feet and paused to adjust the shade on the bedside lamp. “That’s weird,” he muttered.
“Cin, is he fucking with us?” Maggie hissed.
Erik glanced at her, began to smile, and then shook his head and turned away. He lifted a single finger in her direction, as if begging a pause. “That’s weird too. Hang on…” He traced a finger down the surface of the night table, then turned and pressed a palm on the mattress, making the springs creak. He sighed, shrugged and tipped his head back to look at the ceiling.
He staggered and fell back on the bed, staring up at the stained, uneven plaster with amazement that bordered on horror. “What the fuck?”
“Erik, it’s,” Mordecai said.
Erik lifted the same finger in his direction. “Hold, please, I can only fit so much crazy in my mint tin.”
At least, they were pretty sure that was what he said.
He looked around again, sighed in resignation, and walked straight to the window, already lifting a hand to pull the curtain aside.
They all rushed after him, but Hyacinth did spare a moment to shove Mordecai and whisper, “I told you he lies!”
Erik had already put his head through the curtains to have a look. He cried out, not even turning to look at them, “Where the FUCK am I?”
